I am seeking atonement for my sins, looking for beauty in the brevity of life. I’m a weak woman who is desperately searching and running after the heart of God.Tumblr (3.0; @philaxonnai)http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ug2gImmS1qec9exo1_500.gif"/><br/><br/>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51192230528http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51192230528Fri, 24 May 2013 09:36:55 +0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/8ddbc9ca7232457862573a817c777831/tumblr_mn5gm0UEZn1rpe0jco1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://all-things-bright-and-beyootiful.tumblr.com/post/50986874212/banana-granola-via-green-kitchen-stories" class="tumblr_blog">all-things-bright-and-beyootiful</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://www.greenkitchenstories.com/banana-granola/">Banana Granola</a> via Green Kitchen Stories</p></blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51192193980http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51192193980Fri, 24 May 2013 09:36:26 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/04a87d0936ccb9b10042789eace344c2/tumblr_mn9jrp1zOC1rnn6wqo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://www.psychofactz.com/post/51160490637/more-facts-on-psychofacts" class="tumblr_blog">psychofactz</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><strong><a href="http://www.psychofactz.com/">More Facts on Psychofacts<strong> :)</strong></a></strong></p></blockquote> <p>This is cool</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51191149455http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51191149455Fri, 24 May 2013 09:22:39 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/bdaea39db57dc0b48d763262514268db/tumblr_mgj44mNyST1s199fdo1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://xace-oflight.tumblr.com/post/48082720391/togetherwecanrecover-sammneiland">xace-oflight</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://togetherwecanrecover.tumblr.com/post/45204454098/sammneiland-mybuttisaurus">togetherwecanrecover</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sammneiland.tumblr.com/post/40468442208/mybuttisaurus-i-justreally-like-cats-okay">sammneiland</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://mybuttisaurus.tumblr.com/post/40415477457/i-justreally-like-cats-okay-calming-cat-oh">mybuttisaurus</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://i-justreally-like-cats-okay.tumblr.com/post/40360160564/calming-cat">i-justreally-like-cats-okay</a>:</p> <blockquote> <div> <div> <p>Calming CAT!</p> </div> </div> </blockquote> <p>oh my god it is calming</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>i think we could all use some calming cat right about now.</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>He’s back! Welcome back, calming cat. You are always welcome here.</p> </blockquote> <p>Everyone should know of calming cat.</p> </blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51077805823http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/51077805823Thu, 23 May 2013 00:50:16 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/f4523289f36fc69cb876b7ccd3f72677/tumblr_mn5iz8aUZJ1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Thank you God for telling me this on Sunday. Thank you for letting me know that I should be running to you and not away from you. #god #david #godyouaregood #bible #love #iamchristian #jesussavesbro</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50989022857http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50989022857Tue, 21 May 2013 22:01:56 +0800iamchristianbiblelovegoddavidjesussavesbrogodyouaregood<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/794a310983db44082b9a37e218d6c634/tumblr_mn50dtoJ9w1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Sick today, cooped up at home, with dark storming skies outside, cutting sun tags for bloggers’ press kits. #lifeofanintern #sick #tuesday #art</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50975726663http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50975726663Tue, 21 May 2013 15:20:17 +0800lifeofaninternarttuesdaysick<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/dcc831cd8063e4fdccb4ea6e9873aec7/tumblr_mn3x6vdXRg1rnn6wqo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://www.psychofactz.com/post/50948765689/more-facts-on-psychofacts" class="tumblr_blog">psychofactz</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><strong><a href="http://www.psychofactz.com/">More Facts on Psychofacts<strong> :)</strong></a></strong></p></blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50950421756http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50950421756Tue, 21 May 2013 08:48:53 +0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/9acc9b1c9e2d28d7b34fe208997a3823/tumblr_mn2000gtqK1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Purple Lineeeers:)))) missin benny, wenhao, Aaron, Gloria, Hweef and the rest! Great htht eh, shihao too bad u missed out. :P</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50828217555http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50828217555Mon, 20 May 2013 00:19:12 +0800<p>It was really disheartening to know of the image that God placed in my cell leader’s head as she was praying for me. </p> <p>She was given an image of a hand, holding tightly to a kite flying in the wind. And although the wind was blowing so strongly, begging to bring the kite higher, to a further place- yet the hand held tightly to the kite string, not letting go. </p> <p>I always thought that I have been letting God lead me, direct me and letting Him be at the throne of my life. Apparently not. Now that I think about it carefully, I realized I haven’t really surrendered any aspect of my life fully to God because I find it so hard to let go, I find it so hard to lose control. I’m afraid that once I let go of the string, that God will make me fly to somewhere I never expected, make me do something I never wanted, give me someone whom I never even considered, take away things and people who are precious to me. I… Never really let go. And as such I do what I think is right, I tell God, ‘hey.. This is what I’m gonna be doing, just to give you a heads up daddy God. What is that?- oh you approve? Okay, I’m going ahead with it, kthxbye” I assume that it’s what God wants for me because I’m an impatient woman. I hate waiting, I hate having to wait for answers. And when I don’t get immediate answers, I take things into my own hands because waiting will get me nowhere. </p> <p>Now, my grip has gotten so tight on the string, I don’t even know how to let go anymore. It’s almost become… Second nature for me. To direct my life, to be the one who makes the decisions. God, I don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to release my hold on things. I really don’t. Could you please help me? I really need to know the essence of surrender. I don’t know how to let the Holy Spirit lead. I don’t. </p> <p>And I really do need your intervention. Life has been becoming increasingly meaningless to me. Increasingly directionless. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing the next half of 2013 anymore. I thought I had it all planned out, applying for OM ministries and all but it seems like you have closed the door and now I don’t know where to go and how to meaningfully spend my time. Where do you want me to go? And how can I please you in where you are going to place me in the near future? </p> <p>Hear from you soon, God. Hear from you soon.</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50822084063http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50822084063Sun, 19 May 2013 22:48:18 +0800godstrugglechristiansurrenderlettertogodletter<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/1200a47259460ee176f59774e80cbf10/tumblr_mn1pzov4JD1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Okay. I shall make a list of all the people I need to meet up with. You three are on my list. After your mission trips Kay girls!! And happy graduation to jean and rissa, you will be missed deeply and dearly. #pplineedtocatchupwith #tomeetforcoffee</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50815484833http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50815484833Sun, 19 May 2013 20:43:00 +0800tomeetforcoffeepplineedtocatchupwith<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/f223902f39bdc889efb126afdcbf99bb/tumblr_mn1p8abigu1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Harlo my dear friend, let’s also meet up soon one on one! Was great seeing u at the wedding but let’s meetup in July okay? Even if its over a simple cup of coffee:) #pplineedtocatchupwith #tomeetforcoffee</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50814794292http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50814794292Sun, 19 May 2013 20:26:34 +0800tomeetforcoffeepplineedtocatchupwith<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/3d77df39a718b9a5b7ed7774462c9d52/tumblr_mn1oxlcTVI1qgkl09o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Miss you! Let’s catch up soon after my internship ends. I wanna hear everything!! <3 talk soon and meet up pleaseeeee!!</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50814535888http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50814535888Sun, 19 May 2013 20:20:09 +0800<p>It was so beautiful to be seeing your smile as we all waved goodbye. A rare encounter but filled with a genuine glint in the eyes. Thank you for giving me that.</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50723556377http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50723556377Sat, 18 May 2013 20:27:31 +0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4hucegVwX1rwq8p6o1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thatfunnystuff.com/post/50316591939/this-is-what-terrifies-me-about-the">thatfunnyblog</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://josiephin.tumblr.com/post/40227551541/k-kipper-btw-idk-this-is-what-terrifies-me"> </a></p> <blockquote> <div> <blockquote> <div> <blockquote> <div> <div> <div> <p>This is what terrifies me about the ocean.</p> </div> </div> </div> </blockquote> <p>the few times I’ve gone snorkelling this is the most intensely scary but amazing thing about it, the bit where the reef ends and it suddenly just drops off and you cant see the bottom or what’s down there, and you swim over the edge and suddenly your in open water, and you feel so vulnerable like you’re a fish that lives on the reef, and you finally understand finding nemo </p> </div> </blockquote> <p><strong>you finally understand finding nemo</strong></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.thatfunnystuff.com/">Funny Stuff you like?</a></p> </blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50585671099http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50585671099Fri, 17 May 2013 01:11:15 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/48bdb32328d05d15d476588295e33dc4/tumblr_mlxihb83sb1qc2u00o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50585591495http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50585591495Fri, 17 May 2013 01:09:46 +0800<p>I threw up again today&#8230;:(</p>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50584224707http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50584224707Fri, 17 May 2013 00:43:51 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9ab34af3b0d8af457e2948064616a2b6/tumblr_mfdx03Ytz51qzr04eo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thelovenotebook.tumblr.com/post/50371659995/everything-love-life-personal">thelovenotebook</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thelovenotebook.tumblr.com">EVERYTHING LOVE, LIFE & PERSONAL</a></p> </blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50501249760http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50501249760Wed, 15 May 2013 23:58:50 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ozmumHZ91qd2welo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://thelovenotebook.tumblr.com/post/50360072727/everything-love-life-personal">thelovenotebook</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thelovenotebook.tumblr.com">EVERYTHING LOVE, LIFE & PERSONAL</a></p> </blockquote>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50501172586http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50501172586Wed, 15 May 2013 23:57:13 +0800<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c8b371e6bec973c647309cd09d59cb9f/tumblr_mmm0ocVCP41qhmhdfo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50497131712http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50497131712Wed, 15 May 2013 22:29:47 +0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/83d504cba71f520ce85d2367e5e4879b/tumblr_mjkitheXxV1qbjt25o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50497087039http://philaxonnai.tumblr.com/post/50497087039Wed, 15 May 2013 22:28:44 +0800